The great enemy of creativity is fear. When we’re fearful, we freeze up – like a nine-year-old who won’t draw pictures, for fear everybody will laugh. Creativity has a lot to do with a willingness to take risks.’
Faith Ringgold
Last year, I made the decision to leave Topshop to become a Digital Content Manager for a beauty brand. That was a huge step from Digital Editorial Assistant. Though I learned so much in that position, I also felt I wasn’t evolving anymore so I started looking for new opportunities.
Soon enough recruiters started contacting me on Linkedin, one, in particular, put me in contact with the beauty brand I was soon to be part of. I was touched by that company who was doing something for black girls like me. So when that interview came, I gave it my all because I was truly enthusiastic and passionate about the brand.Â
I started in June in a startup of 6 people and we were sharing space with other companies. So on top of the job, even the working environment was all new. It was exciting but terrifying at the same time and for the worst, I let my fear control me. The following months I stayed in that company were like a roller-coaster of emotions I had never experienced before. I was going to work feeling nothing was clear in my head, I let the unknown become a place of fear rather than a place of discovery. In brief, I ended up doubting myself, feeling I wasn’t able to do anything, I lost my confidence and finally, my body started acting against me. For the first time in my life I had anxiety attacks. I had never been so low and miserable but yet, I wouldn’t change a thing about this experience for I learned a wrong career move can make you stronger.
Despite a really painful process, I believe I had to live through this experience to understand one thing:
A misstep in your career is not the end of it but rather the opposite.
So here are a few things to prove you making a career mistake can help you grow professionally and personally.
Making the wrong career move is a learning process
After that experience, I acknowledged any move is a move forward. Whatever the difficulties you are facing. In that situation I realised my shortcomings and it’s a great lesson. At Topshop, I was in a position of comfort and I believe somehow I didn’t want to leave that comfort zone even though my choice to leave the company told the opposite. In a big group like Arcadia, there are a lot of things you don’t have to deal with because other people do it for you but here I was a manager and I HAD TO come up with most of the things I didn’t need to think about before. I can multitask but when it is about one area of work at a time. But here, I had to be on many fronts while doing things I never did before. I wouldn’t say I am a type A person but when I start something I like doing it thoroughly and it requires time. In a tiny start-up, things go really fast and you need to be quick at making decisions which clearly I wasn’t rightly because I was too thorough. So one of my qualities in the previous companies I worked for became a threat at my new job.
For the first time in my career, I was handed a project to lead all by myself. From the creative process to the administrative side of shooting a video, I did everything but didn’t enjoy it. It was too much things to think about and deal with which made me realise I like to concentrate on one or two things and wear no more than two hats.Before coming in that company, I read books like Girlboss or How To Be An Overnight Success which could imply entrepreneurship and leading people were my thing. But they aren’t. I needed to go through that experience to realise I am not shaped that way.
On a personal level, I learned a lot but not only. Even if I didn’t enjoy doing that video project, I have basic knowledge in directing and organising a filming. I know which mistake I did and won’t do them again. I must have seen these experiences negatively at the time but if I were to do this type of project again, I would feel more at ease because I now have experience and wouldn’t make the same mistake I did before.
When you’re in the situation I was, your mind doesn’t realise you are learning because you’re focused on your pain.  All you see is your failures. If I had known at the time, I would have listened more when I was told I did well. I would also have written down every single thing I did well and every single thing I did wrong and put on paper a plan to avoid doing the same mistakes.
They say journaling is therapeutic, so doing it for work is something I now practice and I recommend you to do when things are not doing well at work. Keeping traces of your good points will help you stay confident while keeping track of your shortcomings will help you evolve.
You will fall back on your feet quicker than you think
As soon as I understood, this job wasn’t meant for me, I started looking for new opportunities. But I wasn’t ready to go back to a full-time job. I was too bruised for that. I had lost my confidence and felt I would do no good. That’s when freelancing seemed to be the right choice for me. People often tell you after a burnout you need to rest, which is true, but I felt in my case I needed to keep things going if not I would really feel useless. When a recruiter contacted me to freelance for Net-A-Porter, I couldn’t be happier. The job was much closer to what I knew and because it was in my area of expertise, I felt it would help me feel happy again about working. Leaving that beauty brand, I literally hated going to work and yet, when they gave me the choice to work from home or at their office, I immediately told them I would love to be in their office. I think my answer revealed I wanted to be surrounded by people to not feel lonely, getting direct feedback to improve my work and most importantly gaining back my confidence. It isn’t something I feel I’d be able to achieve by staying alone in front of a computer. And so far, I made the right decision. The people I met at NAP were the loveliest, they made me feel welcomed, taught me the job well and helped me rebuild that confidence I lost.
It was around that time too I started writing freelance about fashion and travel. It was also short after my freelance stint at NAP that I started writing for GO. And I don’t think it’s a case. Writing has always been my thing but I couldn’t find a way to do it until I felt trapped. Before I always conscious about my English not being good enough to even think about writing for English speaking sites but that turbulent stint as a Digital Content Manager actually gave me a boost of confidence, I thought things couldn’t get worse so I might as well give a go to one of my passion and here I am writing you on GO today!
Deciding to keep on working even after that experience saved my sanity. It sounds paradoxical to fight a burnout by keeping working but I needed it. Just to tell myself, I was capable. Nonetheless, don’t feel like you need to do the same. Everyone is different and usually, the best solution is to go back to where you feel you belong aka your loved ones. Go back to basics and take a break focusing on yourself. I had never been more creative than staying at my parents’. While I kept writing for GO and a travelling site, I also spent time scouring my family story to come up with a personal project I had in mind for years.
At the beginning of this article, I put a quote by artist Faith Ringgold because as I read it, it resonated with my experience at that beauty brand hence why I wanted to share it with you. As creatives and entrepreneurs, we face moments of great fear paralysing us, especially when we decide to take a new route professionally. When I accepted that job, I knew nothing about wigs and weaves – as a matter of fact I either keep my hair natural or get braided – but I saw it as an opportunity to challenge myself while learning about my culture. Though I failed, I became a much daring person through that experience so don’t stay in a place of fear after a bad career choice. Once your head has cooled off take any opportunity you feel happy with. You would be surprised to realise how much this bad experience contributed to develop your gut instinct. Now more than ever you will be able to tell what is best for you right away.
